Letter for Mr. BJ

Hey. It's has been a long time I update my blog. And this is the post is and only is for you.

2009 June 2 is the first day we met. I think you had forgotten. But I still remember. Cause it's a memorable day for me.

After that, we had became friend till now.

The first time we go out, is to Old Town. *laugh* The blue blue Kelisa is my favorite car ever. I'm shy, but, I pretended I'm so calm. As this is the first time I went out with you.

Hmm.

31 December 2010, the last day of 2010. Before I enter National Service, we went for movie, 'The Tourist', night market, and eat! *That's the first time I ate in that food court* I feel so sad, since this is the last time we meet before I went National Service. We'll only met after I leave NS. I know I'll miss you very much.

After I enter NS, every time I get back my phone, I'll call my gugu first. And you're the second one I text. *You're less important than my family, tounged*

23 January 2011, that's your birthday. But the big head me didn't wish you. Cause after my phone was kept. I just remember I haven't copy your number. Stupid me had spoil my own plan to give you surprise from NS. And my roommate mumbling this at me for a loooong time. *sigh, really big head me*

Never mind, since I'm so kind. That week, immediately after I get my phone and called my gugu. I called you. Sang birthday song for you with my chicken little voice. *oops*. I remember you said, you're so surprise that I remember although I had no Facebook in NS. And you said you scare you wouldn't had the ability to give me surprise when my birthday.

Oh ya. I think I had promised you to went to your convocation. But, so sorry. I didn't attend. If you would to angry me, I will accept it. Since I had promised you.

Then, on the year of 2011, my birthday. Finally arrived. I posted myself birthday wishes in Facebook. And you just realize it's my birthday. That time. I'm so so down. But I just forget it.

Sometime. When I don't disturb you for long time. You wished that I could continue disturb you. I was like in heaven.

Once, you went to Thailand with friends. But you promised me. You'll text me as soon as you reach bm. But you had forgotten it. I was at KL. And I worry you for whole day. I keep on texting you. But, I have no reply from you. My heart beating so fast. I worry that something happen to you.

Hmm. I did apply for Maktab Perguruan, and I success. I was being delivered to Terengganu. I was totally blanked. And first thing I done is calling you. And you give me comment. I feel relieved after listen to you.

One day, you fetched me and JY to night market. I walk very faster with her. You followed us. Don't know why. Feel so happy. You said we seems like goto night market to meet people but not shopping. *blekkk* Cause the main aim we go out is cause that my dear JY wanna know who is the one I always mention to her the one who took photo so amazingly. *This is the fact you don't know* Maybe you'll feel WTF, but, it's true. She's one of my best sisters, she comforted me everytime when you make me feel down. After that, we went to eat your favorite CharKoayTeow.

There's another time. We went night market again. So late. And a lots of stall had closed. I met my Eco workmates, Wilsyn. She asked me whether you're my bf? I smile brightly and tell her nope nope. I and you just friend. But actually, I wish that I could tell her, yeah, he's my bf, jealous? *dreaming*

Then, another case that I misbelieve someone. I called you. You talk with me. My worry feeling had diminishing.

One day, my dad had fall sick. A serious one. I was so helpless. I can only accompany him. Actually deep inside, I was so worry and wanna cry. Then I texted you. You comfort me. You asked me whether I did bring blanket and pillow or not because I wanna stay overnight with my dad in hospital. And it's raining heavily and very cold.

There is a incident had frightening me. That time, I texted you for so many times. But you didn't reply me at all. Do you know? How I passed through that night? I know, it's my own fault for going out with that devil. Comforting me is so hard to be done by you?

2012, I had forgotten whether we Had ever went out or whatever. Maybe this is the year. I wished so much I can delete from my memory.

We went Sunway. On the last Sunday in the March holiday. I was so happy at first. You helped me to carry the basket. Small small things would make me feel touched. I'm kind of little girl who easily touched by small actions. But before we went back. I spotted something. That I dislike extremely. I was so disappointed. Apart from healthy issues, I think I worry you, will addicted. I will feel so, because ily. If not, I wouldn't care you at all.

Someday. I open your Facebook again. I saw your profile picture with a girl. Oh gosh. I was totally doomed. I was like dying. Totally doomed. I can eat nothing for whole day.

After that, I don't have any motivation to study hard. Really. Totally NO motivation. I missed you so much. I thought you'll text me. But I'm wrong. You never texted me. *heart break* I missed you till I can't study well, so I decided to text you. *sigh* Again and again, I was disappointed.

Today, I texted you again. I think so long and lastly press send. When I received. I was shivering. I feel so cold. I wanna text you for many days already. But I type and delete. I am not brave enough to text you. Cause I'm scare. I scare you wouldn't reply me.

Maybe you will never read this blog post that is for you. But I think after I wrote. I'll feel relieved. Perhaps you'll as usual. Pretend that nothing happen. But it's okay. I will break my heart myself. Don't worry.

I just wanna say. 主动久了会累. Moreover. It has been so long time. How much ILY. But how much you had make me blue. I feel exhausted at last.

I'm shivering when I wrote this all out. *cried* You're so important to me, but. I seems nothing to you.

These are the memories. In my mind. You gave me. These are not everything. But it's almost all of the big memories you gave me. Happy one. Sad one. Still thanks.